hey tampa bae

lol oops it's APRIL

Stacey OswaldComment

Hello all.

It appears that I’ve broken a promise.

The last time I wrote, I promised that my next post wouldn’t be in April 2019. Except… here we are. It’s April 2019. And without the ability to turn back time like Hermione in Harry Potter, I’m going to have to settle into the fact that I broke a promise and, thus, suck at blogging.

“Always keep your promises if you want to keep your friends.” — Jingle All The Way AKA a true Christmas classic.

So… sorry friends. And while I have been busy, especially since I started teaching at DEFINE, that is no excuse to abandon a promise or to forget about my passion for writing/blogging (which is still going strong!).

 
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I’ve decided that this time around, I’m going to casually slink back into posting regularly, without making a big fuss of it. As it turns out, I don’t think I’m very good with fresh starts and new ventures, even though they’re frequently what I crave.

Back in September, around the time of my last post, I decided that I was sick of gaining weight and feeling constantly anxious around food. Typically, when I start a new diet, I make sure that everything is aligned properly to ensure immediate success. I’ll buy a brand new journal to help me track my progress and my food each day… only to find it months later with two used pages. I’ll go the grocery store and spend hundreds of dollars on food that ends up in the trash the next week. I always want to be successful, but I think that’s been my problem— I try too hard, build up expectations, and create black-and-white realities of dieting that send me into a tailspin after three days.

I made the decision to start counting my macros while Adam and I were in Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights. I wasn’t happy with how I looked in pictures, and I wanted to lose weight, once and for all. Adam had been trying to get me to count my macros for months, but I always blew him off. I assumed that adding in such rigid structure would send me right back into my old ED-riddled ways. Even though I was (very secretly) struggling with bulimia at the time, I still felt like “dieting” would make everything worse for me. However, I decided pretty randomly to give it a shot when I got back to Tampa. So halfway through my day on Monday, I calculated my macros on IIFYM.com, downloaded MyFitnessPal, and logged my Starbucks breakfast and frozen meal lunch. I started playing around with options that would help me hit my macros… which forced me to eat a LOT more protein than I was used to. I’m not going to pretend that it was easy figuring all of it out, because I’m sure I’m not remembering everything. But I do remember it feeling easier than past attempts at dieting. It didn’t take up all of my thoughts during every hour of the day. I didn’t feel hungry. I was still eating out and eating the foods I love— including candy and alcohol that very first week. And after about two months, I lost ~15 pounds, which I’ve kept off since then.

 
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I truly believe that the secret to my success was the lack of build-up and anticipation beforehand— I just started one day and kept trying. There were days I went “over” my macros, but those days didn’t feel like failures because I hardly even acknowledged that I was dieting. I didn’t have specific goals, and I didn’t cut out any food groups. For me, it was all about re-framing my approach to losing weight and tricking myself into thinking that it wasn’t such a big deal. I didn’t even record my “before weight” until two weeks in!

Since that life-altering experience, which I’ll probably go into more detail about another time, I’ve learned that the key to success for me is to not plan for success… like at all. Planning is my MO on a smaller scale, but when it comes to big projects and goals, planning can detract from what actually needs to get done. It makes me focus too much energy on the future, and it takes me out of the present moment AKA where the work is happening.

Everything looks better and more beautiful at the end, when the work is already done. When it came to my weight loss, I used to envision this perfect reality where I had beautiful skin and drank 80 oz of water a day and never thought twice about wearing a bikini. Even in the winter, I would maintain a golden-brown glow that never looked orange. And if I went out at night, I would drink a couple glasses of wine and split an appetizer or two, but I would most certainly not eat half a pizza at midnight after pounding tequila shots.

But this overly perfect vision kept me from achieving happiness with my body or with food. It prevented me from enjoying those real human moments we all have, and it stopped me in my tracks before I ever found success.

 
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With blogging, I tend to envision something that requires me to quit my day job and spend all of my time taking pictures and carefully editing them on Lightroom. But I don’t have that kind of time, and I won’t for… probably ever. I don’t allow myself to let blog and social content flow freely, at least anymore. I really want to work to change that, because I miss writing more than I can explain in this post.

So instead of posting this whole “OMG GUYZZZZ IM BACK” thing on social media, I’m just going to post this, sans fanfare, and then hopefully post something else in a couple days. Maybe I’ll put that one on Instagram. But I don’t want to announce my return or anything of the sort. I’m not that big of a deal. And fresh starts are for squares.

TTFN! 👋🏼

the past SEVEN months

Stacey Oswald1 Comment
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I’ve been feeling the pull back to (personal) blogging for quite some time now. However, even though I’ve been wanting to write, I haven’t been sure of what to write about or what direction I’d like to take with this blog. So I’ve delayed and delayed and delayed… seven months have passed… and here I am.

The other day, I was scrolling Facebook and saw a post from a college friend, stating that she, too, had let time pass her by without updating her blog. Not as long as me, but still… I related. I am a pretty regular reader of this girl’s blog (her name is Emily and her blog is Espresso and Endorphins), and I found that I was really excited to read what has been going on in her life. I’m not sure if my regular readership makes me a bit creepy, but since we’ve struggled with similar things in life, I’ve grown to really appreciate and value her posts.

ANYWAYS. I decided that it was time to write, even if I didn’t have a clear direction for this blog, and even though my life feels more “up in the air” than ever before. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and it’s important that I continue to engage this creative side of my brain, no matter what I’m pursuing career-wise. So here I am!

Not to be a total copycat, but I was pretty inspired by Emily’s “Life Lately” layout, so I’m going to segment up my life a little bit and talk about all of the different things that have been going on. And hopefully, magically, I will get a clear vision of where I want to take this blog after I’m done. Fingers crossed!

PROFESSIONAL

I started working for Air Express LLC in late April, where I serve as Marketing Manager. In this role, I do everything from website editing to SEO to appointment scheduling to general administrative work. My knowledge of marketing (as well as the HVAC industry) has grown tremendously since starting here, and I’m really grateful to have been given this opportunity to work full-time. Oh… and the owner of the business is my boyfriend, so it’s an added perk to see him more frequently and help him grow professionally. We have some really exciting (non-AC-related) projects up our sleeve as well, so stay tuned for more info about that!

Because of the whole working-full-time thing, I haven’t been able to teach yoga anymore, and my focus on school has drifted a bit. I miss teaching SO so much, but I know that yoga will always be there for me when I’m ready for it. As far as school goes, it’s hard to say what I want, or where I see myself. I am seriously considering an MFA, in the hopes of becoming a writing professor. I know that I would love that life, and that teaching would bring me a lot of personal satisfaction. However, it’s hard to focus on that goal when I’m so busy with work, friends, family, and my relationship. We’ll see!

PERSONAL

I used to talk in excess about mental health on this blog, and while I know that was right for me when I was going through harder times, it’s been really nice to keep that part of my life to myself. I feel so healthy and strong right now, and I want to focus on maintaining that. I’m actually starting a new challenge where I devote two hours each day to “me time.” This can include writing (of any kind), exercise, yoga, reading, or personal/beauty appointments. That’s actually part of the reason I’m blogging again! The stars really do align sometimes.

RELATIONSHIPS

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet on my blog, but I’ve been dating my boyfriend, Adam, since January 1st (that was our first date!). It has been really interesting to see our relationship evolve, especially because neither of us have been vocal about it on social media. But it’s been refreshing to just focus on each other and see where it goes without the added pressure of external validation. I can confidently say that we’re in a great place right now, and that I feel more confident about our future than ever. He’s the funniest, smartest, most attractive guy I know, and I feel super lucky to have him in my life.

 
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HEALTH & FITNESS

I’m not gonna lie… this has been a huge struggle for me since starting my full-time job. A lot of people think that because I work for Adam, I must be able to make my own schedule and leave whenever I want. This is not the case at all. While I definitely have more flexibility than your average 9-5 worker, I think I actually work harder because I’m working for him. I care so much about his business, and I feel semi-responsible for its growth, so I am by no means sitting around the office living my best life and working when I feel like it.

That being said, it’s been a challenge to make time for fitness, especially because it’s not a part of my job description anymore. After I quit working at CAMP, I took a break from yoga, which was incredibly necessary for my mental health. I got really into CycleBar a couple months ago, and I’ve really enjoyed incorporating cardio back into my routine. I took my first Orangetheory class in New Tampa on Tuesday, and I LOVED it. I might write a post on it!

Overall, I’ve been trying to work out 3+ times a week, but that doesn’t always happen. I got sick after my trip to Mexico (see below), so that sidelined me for a couple weeks. But now, in this new phase of “me-time,” I’m going to try my best to do something physical every day. I miss the way my body used to feel when I was working out regularly, and I want more than anything to get back to that place.

 
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TRAVEL

I’ve been on two cool trips lately— I went to Asheville in July and Mexico in August. I went to Asheville with Morgan, who I lived with after Paul moved out. I completely fell in love with Asheville. It reminded me a lot of Nashville, but a little more hippie and less urban. I hope to go back again soon and try more of their amazing restaurants; I also want to go hiking there, because the surrounding mountains are absolutely beautiful!

 
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Adam and I booked a trip to Mexico SUPER last minute in August… as in the day before we left. It was a bit hectic getting our lives together in less than 24 hours, but I’m so happy that we went. The hotel was cool, but it was our day together in Playa del Carmen that made our trip worthwhile. Adam had never been out of the country, so it was really special to explore a new place with him and escape from the all-inclusive hotel scene. However, I did come back from that trip with an eye infection, approximately 35 mosquito bites that I thought were bedbugs (legit was terrified for two days about this), and some sort of throat issue that lasted for over two weeks. So… I’ll be taking a break from cross-country travel for a hot second.

 
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WHAT I’VE WATCHED

I’m honestly embarrassed by how many movies and TV shows I’ve watched recently. So instead of listing off all of my Netflix/Hulu obsessions from the past seven months, I’ll only tell y’all about the best of the best. I’ll also refrain from elaborating on my passion for the Bachelor franchise and how I spent 2-3 hours every week this year watching The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise. Yikes.

1) The Bold Type (Freeform, watch on Hulu)
Watch if… you love Gossip Girl, Cosmo magazine, pretending like you live in NYC, and female friendship

2) The Resident (Fox, watch on Hulu)
Watch if… you miss the golden days of Grey’s Anatomy

3) The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu)
Watch if… you want to be a fully functioning millennial (seriously don’t know how I missed this show for so long— thanks to Stacy Washburn for getting me into it!)

4) Queer Eye (Netflix)
Watch if… you used to watch What Not To Wear or Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

5) Sierra Burgess is a Loser (Netflix)
Watch if… you fell in love with Noah Centineo after To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

6) Newness (Netflix)
Watch if… you’re interested in “open relationships” or what dating is like in the age of Tinder/Bumble

7) A Simple Favor (in theaters now!)
Watch if… you’re interested in a super-trendy cross between Gone Girl and Bridesmaids

Also let’s take a moment to mourn the loss of Rise (a new show that got cancelled after a season) and The Path (my all-time favorite Hulu show that was cancelled).

WHAT I’VE READ

I haven’t been reading as much as I’d like to, but I have gotten through some really amazing books. And one that I legit had to stop reading because it was too triggering. Starting with my personal favorite: The Light We Lost. This book is super emotional, so if you’ve just gone through a big breakup, I’d wait a little bit before reading it. I still sobbed throughout the latter chapters of this book, especially after what I went through last year with my breakup. But it was such a beautiful book, and I highly recommend it. It reminds me a lot of The Versions of Us.

Then, I moved on to a really funny book by Sophie Kinsella called Surprise Me. I laughed out loud throughout the entire thing, which was really fun, especially after crying during The Light We Lost.

I read a couple of pretty meh books (including Emily Giffin’s latest, which was hugely disappointing) before finding Tell Me Lies. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK if you’re in a relationship and want to stay in said relationship. It’s written really well, but the alternating perspectives (particularly the chapters written from the fuckboy’s perspective) are really anxiety-inducing for women with boyfriends. I hope to God that men don’t actually think like that. And if they do… I’d rather stay blissfully unaware, please and thank you.

Also read The Wife Between Us, which is a total mindf*ck and so so SO good. Read it if you haven’t been able to find a solid replacement for Gone Girl. AKA please stop buying all those other books that are supposed to be “just like Gone Girl” except they suck and are poorly written.

WHAT’S NEXT

TBH I would love to know what’s next. All I know is that it’s basically fall, which means it’s almost Halloween, which means it’s almost my favorite month. I might be going to Halloween Horror Nights this weekend, so I’m beyond pumped about that. Beyond that, I’m excited to keep devoting more time to my personal growth, this blog, and the people in my life whom I love. I promise my next post won’t be in April 2019.

 
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OOPS... a long overdue review of marlow's tavern

Stacey OswaldComment

I've never thought of Carrollwood as a hot spot for food in Tampa. The only reason I've ever made the trip is to visit their massive Whole Foods, which by the way, puts the one on Dale Mabry to shame. However, I found myself re-thinking that unfounded notion when I stepped into Marlow's Tavern for the first time several months ago. 

At first, I was a little put off by the chains surrounding it, which range from The Melting Pot to Bonefish. Believe me, I live my best life at Chili's all the time, but I was expecting more than typical chain food from this dinner, and I feared impending disappointment. However, my worries abated when I finally opened the doors to Marlow's Tavern and found, inside, a casual-yet-classy ambiance, much like one would find at Bricktop's in Nashville. Marlow's isn't fussy or pretentious, which I love, and while it is a chain, you don't get that feeling when you're there. 

After being seated, I immediately ordered a drink (duh) while helping myself to the kettle chips in front of me. Covered in gorgonzola and piled high with bacon, I found myself in heaven before even getting a chance to sip my sangria, which only served to keep me in such an elevated state. I tried limiting my consumption of said kettle chips, and luckily, I semi-succeeded, because a delicious (and beautiful) plate of hummus soon arrived at our table. I'm really picky with hummus, mainly because I can make it myself and I ALWAYS think mine is better, but I found the hummus at Marlow's to be creamy and flavorful, just like it should be. 

 
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Shortly thereafter, the head chef appeared at our table to introduce some of the main courses we would be sampling. I was impressed by how down-to-earth he appeared, despite his numerous accolades in the kitchen, and his presence only made me love Marlow's more. However, I would soon watch my love skyrocket, as it was then that he introduced the banh mi chicken wrap. Let me preface this by saying that I do not like banh mis, and I would NEVER in normal conditions order a chicken wrap for dinner. But this delicate, flavorful wrap simply blew my mind, and I found myself stealing my dining companion's serving when she didn't finish it. 

 
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Next came the grilled chicken stack, which was a little too basic for my liking. However, that being said, my friend was obsessed with this dish, and it remained her favorite throughout the evening. So feel free to take my words with a grain of salt. We also got to sample the shrimp and grits, which reminded me of the many renditions of this dish I got to sample in Nashville. I loved that the grits were served in the form of a cheddar grit cake (which takes care of the texture issue most people have with grits), and the buerre blanc sauce elevated the entire ensemble quite a bit. However, I would still pick that stupid chicken wrap every time, and I feel no shame in admitting that. I guess I'm a cheap date? 

 
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Overall, I would recommend Marlow's Tavern ten times over, whether you're looking for a casual family dinner spot or a more romantic date night destination. Take the Uber to Carrollwood. And while you're there... might as well hit up the Whole Foods, am I right?